Pregnant women seem to be a bulls eye for inappropriate (and sometimes hurtful) questions from family members and strangers alike. Not only is your personal privacy invaded when random strangers want to touch your belly but everyone wants to offer advice, words of wisdom and their own pregnancy horror stories.
Here’s are some tactful advice on 10 things you should refrain from saying to a pregnant woman
Are you going to breastfeed?
I am so baffled by people’s curiosity in my breasts and their ability to feed another human being. And that they truly believe it’s an appropriate question. If you’re not my husband, my doctor or my lactation nurse please don’t ask.
Are you concerned about the Zika virus?
I get people being concerned for your unborn baby’s well-being but did you really need to bring it up? Moms-to-be are worried about a host of things and would appreciate if their worries weren’t vocalized constantly.
You’re not a mom yet so…
le sigh…yes. I actually had a coworker say this to me once, in order to get me to work Mother’s Day. I had just started at my job so I had very little say in my schedule and was uncomfortable telling her how rude I found her statement was.
Furthermore, who is to decide at what point someone becomes a mom! Yes, for some it may be the moment that their little newborn is placed in their arms, but for other’s it can happen weeks or even months before. Just never belittle a mom-to-be with those words. It’s extremely hurtful.
You look huge, how much weight have you gained?
My uncle, who I absolutely adore, is not the most tactful person and I believe he was joking. Buuut I was about 6 months old and very emotional. I broke down in tears. Never, ever comment on a pregnant ladies weight…it goes hand in hand with the following, never ask
Are you having twins
Even if she looks like she’s having twins don’t ask. Pregnant momma’s really don’t want to be reminded that their front sides match their behinds in size.
Just wait, it get’s worse
I never understood why my friend kept telling me this. Even at my most miserable when I couldn’t see my swollen feet and my back was constantly hurting from the 8 lb bowling ball I had attached to my front, she could always find a way to say “just wait, it get’s worse”…it was, in short, unhelpful.
You are never going to sleep again
We get it, babies sleep odd hours, toddlers wake up super early and we will get very little sleep from our constant worrying. But please don’t point it out, pregnant women are already sleep deprived from pregnancy and don’t want to be reminded that their sleep isn’t going to get any better after birth.
Were you trying?
Never were people so interested in my sex life as they were when I first told them I was pregnant. Unless they were following up with the following statement…
I thought you didn’t want kids
….well, guess I changed my mind..?
Are you sure you like that name?
We decided early on that we weren’t going to pick a name for our daughter until she was born and we’d had a chance to “meet her”. We found it odd to name a human being we hadn’t even met yet. We did however have a list of names that we loved. I found after a while that sharing this list of names was not helpful, so many people have opinions on names, some opinions are not so nice. Do yourself a favor and keep the name to yourself. No one can say they hate the name you’ve chosen if they’re holding your precious baby. No body.
Any other tactful advice? Let me know below!